It has been about 8 months since my lap-band surgery. In August, I wore size 40 pants.
I just put on a pair of jean shorts so I could run out, pull the patio umbrellas out of their tables, and cover the pool before the wind picked up (theres one hell of a storm coming, apparantly). I got back in, and changed out of my wet clothes. My shorts didn't look familiar (keep in mind, I just did a total cleaning of my room which hasn't really been done for four or five years). Where did these shorts come from? I looked at the tag. Size 36. They are from 8th grade. They fit. That felt good.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
My shopping habit is kind of weird. I stalk things on the internet. Literally, stalk them. I'm stalking something new.
I've been stalking the Kila Single Head Stethoscope. The price is right, and everything I've seen online has been positive. I think I might actually buy it. I don't know why I just posted a blog about that.
This is the link: http://www.kila.com/specssingle.html
I don't even carry a stethoscope. My thought is that I'd use it at my camp. I might, actually.
I'm a loser.
I've been stalking the Kila Single Head Stethoscope. The price is right, and everything I've seen online has been positive. I think I might actually buy it. I don't know why I just posted a blog about that.
This is the link: http://www.kila.com/specssingle.html
I don't even carry a stethoscope. My thought is that I'd use it at my camp. I might, actually.
I'm a loser.
Oh...the other thing, I've been doing a lot of research on other assessments to make sure that I know what's going on with my kids at camp. I don't want to send kids to the doctor or hospital if they don't need to go. There's a lot of stuff out there. If you have any links, or assessment tips for anything (from ortho to internal med stuff) please post!
stupid, stupid, stupid....
I do stupid things all the time. I always make stupid choices.... but I rarely realize how stupid a choice is this soon.
For the past three months, I was kind of "on-the-fence" in terms of prom. I kinda wanted to be there, but I didn't want to go. I didn't want to deal with the drama, pay for a tux or limo, or have to find a place to stay down the shore (herein, dts). The straw that broke the camel's back was that I couldn't go with the person who I wanted to go with. If I could have gone with person-unknown, I totally would have gone. I wanted to be at prom and see everyone and experience it all. I wanted to be dts like a normal jersey kid. I had four or five people who I know would have gone with me at a moment's notice, and I would have had a lot of fun with...but I was stubborn - it wasn't the one person I wanted to go with, so I didn't go. I totally regret not going.
For the past three months, I was kind of "on-the-fence" in terms of prom. I kinda wanted to be there, but I didn't want to go. I didn't want to deal with the drama, pay for a tux or limo, or have to find a place to stay down the shore (herein, dts). The straw that broke the camel's back was that I couldn't go with the person who I wanted to go with. If I could have gone with person-unknown, I totally would have gone. I wanted to be at prom and see everyone and experience it all. I wanted to be dts like a normal jersey kid. I had four or five people who I know would have gone with me at a moment's notice, and I would have had a lot of fun with...but I was stubborn - it wasn't the one person I wanted to go with, so I didn't go. I totally regret not going.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
From the looks of it, I'll be able to do an advanced EMT-Critical Care closer to college next year. That's a step in the right direction - I'll be able to intubate, start IVs, etc. According to Wikipedia, it's basically comparable to Paramedic, without as many standing orders, and more of a need to establish online medical control. It's at least a good option, especially since I'm going to be a doctor in 7/8 years...I don't need to be a paramedic, I'd just like to have more ability to help people in the pre-hospital setting (which I intend to continue in as a physician)
Something I just read.
I can't find the link, now, but I was just reading about how some states are considering making freedom more accessible for prisoners to cut state spending. By getting people out of jail (through lessening sentences, making parole easier, etc), they save taxpayers money, theoretically. What about the taxpayers' safety?!?
This is how I feel: prisoners should spend their entire sentence with PUBLIC SAFETY, not economics, in mind. If that costs too much, then states should cut down the cost of providing that service to the community, not cut down on the service.
I feel like the current prison system takes responsibility away from the prisoner. If the prisoner wants cable TV or porno, then they should be responsible for paying for it, just like everyone else. I should not be supporting a prisoner's porn-addiction with my tax money. Just because a prisoner really likes to watch the Golden Girls doesn't mean I should have to pay for their cable bill. I understand that prisoners have rights, but why should someone who broke the law infringe on my rights? Fuck having air conditioning in prisons - the people who are paying for it don't even have a/c in their houses! What? The prisoner can't afford their own cable or air conditioning?!? TOUGH SHIT - they should have thought about that before they broke the law!
So now all of our other state-programs (such as education, etc) should suffer, along with our taxes?
I really don't understand.
This is how I feel: prisoners should spend their entire sentence with PUBLIC SAFETY, not economics, in mind. If that costs too much, then states should cut down the cost of providing that service to the community, not cut down on the service.
I feel like the current prison system takes responsibility away from the prisoner. If the prisoner wants cable TV or porno, then they should be responsible for paying for it, just like everyone else. I should not be supporting a prisoner's porn-addiction with my tax money. Just because a prisoner really likes to watch the Golden Girls doesn't mean I should have to pay for their cable bill. I understand that prisoners have rights, but why should someone who broke the law infringe on my rights? Fuck having air conditioning in prisons - the people who are paying for it don't even have a/c in their houses! What? The prisoner can't afford their own cable or air conditioning?!? TOUGH SHIT - they should have thought about that before they broke the law!
So now all of our other state-programs (such as education, etc) should suffer, along with our taxes?
I really don't understand.
Update
It's not going to work out.
I need to keep looking.
It's not as flexible as I was hoping, because they still make you check in tri-weekly to do hands-on stuff (which I think is much needed, but I was hoping that it would be able to be done at a closer hospital that would sponsor me for the eventual field work.)
Maybe I'm looking on the wrong side of the border. I should find something closer to my college (in NY) to do, since my reciprocity for EMT-B is currently in the works. If only the state of NY didn't make it so difficult to find training opportunities in that particular area!
I need to keep looking.
It's not as flexible as I was hoping, because they still make you check in tri-weekly to do hands-on stuff (which I think is much needed, but I was hoping that it would be able to be done at a closer hospital that would sponsor me for the eventual field work.)
Maybe I'm looking on the wrong side of the border. I should find something closer to my college (in NY) to do, since my reciprocity for EMT-B is currently in the works. If only the state of NY didn't make it so difficult to find training opportunities in that particular area!
Medic61 is awesome.
Medic61 (aka the only person who reads my blog) posted a comment on my last post about how if it's meant to be, it'll happen...or something.
I read the comment. Out loud, I yelled "bullshit!" and I walked away. No more then 10 minutes later, I checked my e-mail. There's an e-mail from a community college in South Jersey (about two hours away). Oh shitballs, I thought, I'm not going to goddamn community college two hours from my house... I'm already going to a four-year college in NY. I was going to just delete it, but I accidentally missed the little check-box thing and the e-mail opened. The e-mail talked about this opportunity that this particular college has to take PARAMEDIC classes online (for the classroom based classes, which is like two classes), then the ones that require that I be on campus during the summer. How sweet is that?
I definitely have to look into it, because its a two hour drive... but Medic61 is like a prophet or something.
I read the comment. Out loud, I yelled "bullshit!" and I walked away. No more then 10 minutes later, I checked my e-mail. There's an e-mail from a community college in South Jersey (about two hours away). Oh shitballs, I thought, I'm not going to goddamn community college two hours from my house... I'm already going to a four-year college in NY. I was going to just delete it, but I accidentally missed the little check-box thing and the e-mail opened. The e-mail talked about this opportunity that this particular college has to take PARAMEDIC classes online (for the classroom based classes, which is like two classes), then the ones that require that I be on campus during the summer. How sweet is that?
I definitely have to look into it, because its a two hour drive... but Medic61 is like a prophet or something.
Monday, May 26, 2008
The pickle on the shit-sandwich of life...
My search for a way to get paramedic training is not going so well. No wonder there is a paramedic shortage - you have to jump hurdles just to get into training.
The four programs in my state don't offer classes during the summer. I really can't even explain how I feel.... it's a cross between feeling like someone just died and feeling like I was going to die. It's something that has been my dream since forever...I thought I'd be able to do it since I am going to have summers off from college. That was the plan. I'd get my paramedic cert in college, be ready for medical school, then become a doctor AND medic (for professional, personal, and sentimental reasons).
I'd give anything if there was an online program that let me take the classroom classes online, but then let me do the clinical/practical stuff at a hospital or MICU. I know, the general feelings about introducing online education into EMS is really bad, but I want this so badly that it wouldn't matter how sucky the program was... I'd study myself into a coma and take awesome care of patients. That's really all I want.
The four programs in my state don't offer classes during the summer. I really can't even explain how I feel.... it's a cross between feeling like someone just died and feeling like I was going to die. It's something that has been my dream since forever...I thought I'd be able to do it since I am going to have summers off from college. That was the plan. I'd get my paramedic cert in college, be ready for medical school, then become a doctor AND medic (for professional, personal, and sentimental reasons).
I'd give anything if there was an online program that let me take the classroom classes online, but then let me do the clinical/practical stuff at a hospital or MICU. I know, the general feelings about introducing online education into EMS is really bad, but I want this so badly that it wouldn't matter how sucky the program was... I'd study myself into a coma and take awesome care of patients. That's really all I want.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Ask me about my day...
Well, the gut feeling wasn't anything as bad as I was anticipating. There were a lot of little things that were a little not-fun for me, though.
I had my first HIV positive patient today. I know - I don't know how I've dodged that bullet until now, but I did. That's all I'm saying about this particular patient. As a quick disclaimer, I have nothing against HIV+ people and I've always thought it was kind of gross how people treat those infected in some sub-human sort of way. The call went without incident... it was really a good call. It was kind of weird, though, to deal with someone whose bloody tissues could infect you with a disease that could ultimately kill you. It was definitely a weird experience.
I also had to stair-chair someone down stairs today. To other EMS professionals, that wouldn't sound like a problem. On small amounts of sturdy stairs, it isn't usually a problem. But, I have climicaphobia. I'm afraid of stairs...not deathly so, but certain types of stairs (steep ones, narrow ones, long stairs, and the stairs that you can see what's under you through the backs being open or there being holes to allow water drainage) make me anxious and I avoid them at all cost. Unfortunately, this patient was on the second story and there was no elevator. Bad news bears. Luckily I made it without freaking out... I held it in until I got home when I got in my room and I threw myself down in the ground and SCREAMED while waving my arms and legs like a crazy person. I needed to get it out.
I found out today that a patient I previously cared for coincidently got caught with child porn. What a douche bag. And he complained when the medics couldn't find a vein. He said that they were treating him like a "pin cushion." Bro, you deserve so much worse then a couple of 18 gauge needles in your arm.
As a disclaimer, any anecdotes in this blog are stories that have merely been based on real life experiences; there is no true identifying information - it has either been changed, or excluded from the story to protect the privacy of my patients. If the described patients sound like anyone (alive or deceased), then it is merely a coincidence that occurs because most health problems that I encounter are very common. The opinions expressed in this blog are mine; they in no way represent protocol in my area, the views of my certifying agency, or anyone/thing else. Don't be stupid.
I had my first HIV positive patient today. I know - I don't know how I've dodged that bullet until now, but I did. That's all I'm saying about this particular patient. As a quick disclaimer, I have nothing against HIV+ people and I've always thought it was kind of gross how people treat those infected in some sub-human sort of way. The call went without incident... it was really a good call. It was kind of weird, though, to deal with someone whose bloody tissues could infect you with a disease that could ultimately kill you. It was definitely a weird experience.
I also had to stair-chair someone down stairs today. To other EMS professionals, that wouldn't sound like a problem. On small amounts of sturdy stairs, it isn't usually a problem. But, I have climicaphobia. I'm afraid of stairs...not deathly so, but certain types of stairs (steep ones, narrow ones, long stairs, and the stairs that you can see what's under you through the backs being open or there being holes to allow water drainage) make me anxious and I avoid them at all cost. Unfortunately, this patient was on the second story and there was no elevator. Bad news bears. Luckily I made it without freaking out... I held it in until I got home when I got in my room and I threw myself down in the ground and SCREAMED while waving my arms and legs like a crazy person. I needed to get it out.
I found out today that a patient I previously cared for coincidently got caught with child porn. What a douche bag. And he complained when the medics couldn't find a vein. He said that they were treating him like a "pin cushion." Bro, you deserve so much worse then a couple of 18 gauge needles in your arm.
As a disclaimer, any anecdotes in this blog are stories that have merely been based on real life experiences; there is no true identifying information - it has either been changed, or excluded from the story to protect the privacy of my patients. If the described patients sound like anyone (alive or deceased), then it is merely a coincidence that occurs because most health problems that I encounter are very common. The opinions expressed in this blog are mine; they in no way represent protocol in my area, the views of my certifying agency, or anyone/thing else. Don't be stupid.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
one more thing...
Oh...one more thing.
For posterity's sake, I should document that I officially began cleaning my room. Not like the straightening up kind of cleaning... but the moving stuff around and into bags with the anticipation of camp AND college coming soon! In reality, I think I'm just making a huge mess. I'm cleaning EVERYTHING, then sorting it and putting it in bags to get it out of my room. When it's all out, I'll move the heavy stuff to do a real good vacuuming job. Then, the bags of summery stuff will be unpacked into my room to use until camp starts, while the bags of winter stuff get stored in my closet to be taken to school.
I seriously moved a lot around today. I found so many things that I totally forgot about, which was cool. I was hoping to find my Petzl head lamp from a few years ago... I loved that thing. Unfortunately, it wasn't here, so I'm going to have to buy one for camp. I'm thinking I'll get the Petzl E+Lite... I like the looks/functionality of it a lot.
For posterity's sake, I should document that I officially began cleaning my room. Not like the straightening up kind of cleaning... but the moving stuff around and into bags with the anticipation of camp AND college coming soon! In reality, I think I'm just making a huge mess. I'm cleaning EVERYTHING, then sorting it and putting it in bags to get it out of my room. When it's all out, I'll move the heavy stuff to do a real good vacuuming job. Then, the bags of summery stuff will be unpacked into my room to use until camp starts, while the bags of winter stuff get stored in my closet to be taken to school.
I seriously moved a lot around today. I found so many things that I totally forgot about, which was cool. I was hoping to find my Petzl head lamp from a few years ago... I loved that thing. Unfortunately, it wasn't here, so I'm going to have to buy one for camp. I'm thinking I'll get the Petzl E+Lite... I like the looks/functionality of it a lot.
Well, it's summer (for me, at least).
I've been online shopping for camp-stuff a lot. I'm praying that my credit card bill gets lost in mail or something... because I've bought a lot of crap and I can't afford any of it!
Oh and I'm watching Tila Tequila on MTV. There's a contestant from a nearby town whose occupation is listed as a "transportation executive." What the hell is a transportation executive? It sounds remarkably like "Bus Driver." I might be wrong.
Now the reason for this post - I'm dreading my shift tomorrow and here's why:
-First of all, during my shift is a work detail to get everything clean and ready for the Memorial Day Parade. Now, I love remembering our fallen soldiers as much as the next guy, but I'm not looking forward to being the probie that has to clean those ambulances and the rescue truck.
-Second of all, everyone's going to ask if I'm going to the Memorial Day parade. I'm not... but I don't want to tell them why. The reason is that I don't want to. I think I might tell them that I just don't have my uniform tie. That's a better reason, right? I didn't think so...
-Lastly, I just have a bad feeling about it. I don't know why, I just do. Maybe its because it's MDW and I anticipate that being a problem. IDK...but when I have one of my gut feelings, it's usually pretty accurate.
I added two new blogs to the blog roll. Medic 61 writes two awesome blogs that I read for the first time today...I'm already hooked. If anyone actually reads my blog, you should check hers out.
I've been online shopping for camp-stuff a lot. I'm praying that my credit card bill gets lost in mail or something... because I've bought a lot of crap and I can't afford any of it!
Oh and I'm watching Tila Tequila on MTV. There's a contestant from a nearby town whose occupation is listed as a "transportation executive." What the hell is a transportation executive? It sounds remarkably like "Bus Driver." I might be wrong.
Now the reason for this post - I'm dreading my shift tomorrow and here's why:
-First of all, during my shift is a work detail to get everything clean and ready for the Memorial Day Parade. Now, I love remembering our fallen soldiers as much as the next guy, but I'm not looking forward to being the probie that has to clean those ambulances and the rescue truck.
-Second of all, everyone's going to ask if I'm going to the Memorial Day parade. I'm not... but I don't want to tell them why. The reason is that I don't want to. I think I might tell them that I just don't have my uniform tie. That's a better reason, right? I didn't think so...
-Lastly, I just have a bad feeling about it. I don't know why, I just do. Maybe its because it's MDW and I anticipate that being a problem. IDK...but when I have one of my gut feelings, it's usually pretty accurate.
I added two new blogs to the blog roll. Medic 61 writes two awesome blogs that I read for the first time today...I'm already hooked. If anyone actually reads my blog, you should check hers out.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
So I decided on college today. ::drumroll::
BS/DO program. The end.
The program in Kansas City has still failed to get back to me with the financial aid stuff (I literally have checked online every few hours)...so I'm just giving up on that.
I'm hoping that during the summers/winters I'll be able to do the Paramedic classes as a community college (I need to see if they even run the medic classes in the summer) this way I'm still getting some form of patient contact and I'm doing something that I really want to do (rather then just sitting in a lab and doing biology for four years). I'm using a lot of parenthesis. I think I might be pissed off about this college situation, but I'm trying to make the best of it.
Today I told a friend of mine about this crazy love-crush on this other kid in my grade I've had for the past few years. Apparently, I hid it well. It felt good to get it out, but it made me realize how final this high school graduation is going to be... I'm never going to see either of them again. ever. ever.
Summer is already here, which is good and bad. I have a job working at a camp (I'm not sure if I posted about this already). I'm going to be the EMT at a big camp. I don't even know what to expect, but I think it should be fun - and a little bit awkward. I'm glad to be back at a camp, though... I loved the camp I used to work at, but the political bullshit ended up making me quit in a horribly-planned fit which I very much regret.
I kinda want an otoscope. But they're so much money. Meh.
BS/DO program. The end.
The program in Kansas City has still failed to get back to me with the financial aid stuff (I literally have checked online every few hours)...so I'm just giving up on that.
I'm hoping that during the summers/winters I'll be able to do the Paramedic classes as a community college (I need to see if they even run the medic classes in the summer) this way I'm still getting some form of patient contact and I'm doing something that I really want to do (rather then just sitting in a lab and doing biology for four years). I'm using a lot of parenthesis. I think I might be pissed off about this college situation, but I'm trying to make the best of it.
Today I told a friend of mine about this crazy love-crush on this other kid in my grade I've had for the past few years. Apparently, I hid it well. It felt good to get it out, but it made me realize how final this high school graduation is going to be... I'm never going to see either of them again. ever. ever.
Summer is already here, which is good and bad. I have a job working at a camp (I'm not sure if I posted about this already). I'm going to be the EMT at a big camp. I don't even know what to expect, but I think it should be fun - and a little bit awkward. I'm glad to be back at a camp, though... I loved the camp I used to work at, but the political bullshit ended up making me quit in a horribly-planned fit which I very much regret.
I kinda want an otoscope. But they're so much money. Meh.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
End of School
OK so yesterday was my last day of school. I didn't think I was going to really care...but I do.
I haven't been able to sleep - I just keep playing different things through my head: memories, thoughts of the embarrassing crushes that never turned into anything, people I wish I had talked to, people I wished I hadn't talked to, people I still need to make things right with, and then, of course, the realization that I'm never going to see ANY of those people again.
It's depressing, really. Especially since I didn't realize that I cared until now.
I don't even know what to do. Do I try to keep in touch with people who I only saw in school anyways? I feel like I already miss them, but they have more important stuff to do then to go our of their ways to deal with me, anyways. Fuck.
Urrg.
I haven't been able to sleep - I just keep playing different things through my head: memories, thoughts of the embarrassing crushes that never turned into anything, people I wish I had talked to, people I wished I hadn't talked to, people I still need to make things right with, and then, of course, the realization that I'm never going to see ANY of those people again.
It's depressing, really. Especially since I didn't realize that I cared until now.
I don't even know what to do. Do I try to keep in touch with people who I only saw in school anyways? I feel like I already miss them, but they have more important stuff to do then to go our of their ways to deal with me, anyways. Fuck.
Urrg.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Update
Ok, so this is a week of "lasts."
Last of each class.
Last AP tests.
Last time seeing most of the people in my class ever.
The list goes on...
I'm really screwed, to be honest. For those of you with a pulse, you know how bad the economy is... this is a big problem for me. My family can't afford to send me to the college that I want to go to, and the economy is so bad that we can't even get the loans to pay for it. What do I do? I'm at the point where I'd consider doing community college and becoming a Paramedic... but I don't want to be a paramedic when I grow up. I want to be a doctor. Particularly, in 6 years. I just don't understand why this happens. I'm not a bad kid. Why is college (especially this one, for out of state students) so expensive? I wish I wanted to be something that didn't cost so much. I don't get why my dreams are so much closer to "impossible to fulfill" than other people's, in terms of factors beyond my control. I know what you're thinking: "Get a job, kid." I've had a summer job every year... we're talking over fifty-three thousand a year, for six years for this college - no kid my age can afford that. Not one. It's impossible. I don't even get why I tried to get in to this school. I'm so naive. I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it, but I got my hopes up and told myself that I'd find a way for it to happen. I'm a idiot.
Now, you'd think my parents would have told me that, right? They didn't. I'm not even sure if my mom knows what the name of the school is. Neither of them want anything to do with this college thing. It pisses me off.
When it becomes official that I can't afford it (like when the paperwork is actually in my hands), then I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. It's so late, now, that I've pretty much lost my chances at ANY college other than community college. The whole system is stupid. Maybe I can become a hermit. Or join the peace corps. Or both. I think I've had two readers ever on this blog, so if either of you are out there, please leave a comment with a suggestion of what I should do with my life.
Last of each class.
Last AP tests.
Last time seeing most of the people in my class ever.
The list goes on...
I'm really screwed, to be honest. For those of you with a pulse, you know how bad the economy is... this is a big problem for me. My family can't afford to send me to the college that I want to go to, and the economy is so bad that we can't even get the loans to pay for it. What do I do? I'm at the point where I'd consider doing community college and becoming a Paramedic... but I don't want to be a paramedic when I grow up. I want to be a doctor. Particularly, in 6 years. I just don't understand why this happens. I'm not a bad kid. Why is college (especially this one, for out of state students) so expensive? I wish I wanted to be something that didn't cost so much. I don't get why my dreams are so much closer to "impossible to fulfill" than other people's, in terms of factors beyond my control. I know what you're thinking: "Get a job, kid." I've had a summer job every year... we're talking over fifty-three thousand a year, for six years for this college - no kid my age can afford that. Not one. It's impossible. I don't even get why I tried to get in to this school. I'm so naive. I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it, but I got my hopes up and told myself that I'd find a way for it to happen. I'm a idiot.
Now, you'd think my parents would have told me that, right? They didn't. I'm not even sure if my mom knows what the name of the school is. Neither of them want anything to do with this college thing. It pisses me off.
When it becomes official that I can't afford it (like when the paperwork is actually in my hands), then I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. It's so late, now, that I've pretty much lost my chances at ANY college other than community college. The whole system is stupid. Maybe I can become a hermit. Or join the peace corps. Or both. I think I've had two readers ever on this blog, so if either of you are out there, please leave a comment with a suggestion of what I should do with my life.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Tonight's Grey's Anatomy Episode
Yes, I'm a nerd. I'm almost crying from this episode. I know. I was probably dropped on my head as a small child.
In other news, I'm still in the same place in terms of college. I have no idea. And, the pickle on that shit-sandwich is that its super hard to find a job when I don't know when I'll be around this summer... But I think I may have found a job. I'm happy with it as long as I don't have to screw them over by needing to leave early, etc.
I need something to do with my life. I was looking for some way to volunteer or work overseas. I've actually had a recurring dream of EMT-ing in Darfur. Weird. But I think I'd be a good over-seas volunteer - I'm a quick learner and I work well under pressure. Unfortunately, every opportunity makes you pay like three thousand dollars. How stupid.
In other news, I'm still in the same place in terms of college. I have no idea. And, the pickle on that shit-sandwich is that its super hard to find a job when I don't know when I'll be around this summer... But I think I may have found a job. I'm happy with it as long as I don't have to screw them over by needing to leave early, etc.
I need something to do with my life. I was looking for some way to volunteer or work overseas. I've actually had a recurring dream of EMT-ing in Darfur. Weird. But I think I'd be a good over-seas volunteer - I'm a quick learner and I work well under pressure. Unfortunately, every opportunity makes you pay like three thousand dollars. How stupid.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
More College Bull$hit
This whole paying-for-college thing is stupid.
My parents didn't realize that people use loans until like last night, so there is even MORE hope for dream school.
I don't think I ever defined what "dream school" is. It is a 6 year BA/MD program out in the mid-west. I actually worked/apprenticed at a bakery near that school two summers ago, and I fell in love with Kansas City (I tried to be non-specific, but I can't help myself)! Ever since, I've wanted to move into that city. When I found out that there was a way for me to become a physician in 6 years, without jumping through all of the traditional hoops, it became my dream. I love the city, I love the school, I love the people, but I don't love the price. As an out-of-state student, we're literally talking about over $20,000 per semester (two per year), plus over $10,000 for the summer semester (one per year)...for 6 years. Yes, that means a MINIMUM of $300,000 for 6 years; that does not include any other living expenses, or even the costs of plane tickets home.
But, my parents are willing to at least explore the options of loans a little bit more. Granted, they probably won't even qualify for ANY loans...but it's still nice that they seem to support me (which they've never seem to have done before). The best case scenario is that I get the loans I need (which would need to be all in my name), and be paying off almost a million dollars over the next thirty years.
My parents really don't think it can be done. I personally believe that when people genuinely want something, the universe conspires to help them get what they want. I'm probably completely naive. Wish me luck.
My parents didn't realize that people use loans until like last night, so there is even MORE hope for dream school.
I don't think I ever defined what "dream school" is. It is a 6 year BA/MD program out in the mid-west. I actually worked/apprenticed at a bakery near that school two summers ago, and I fell in love with Kansas City (I tried to be non-specific, but I can't help myself)! Ever since, I've wanted to move into that city. When I found out that there was a way for me to become a physician in 6 years, without jumping through all of the traditional hoops, it became my dream. I love the city, I love the school, I love the people, but I don't love the price. As an out-of-state student, we're literally talking about over $20,000 per semester (two per year), plus over $10,000 for the summer semester (one per year)...for 6 years. Yes, that means a MINIMUM of $300,000 for 6 years; that does not include any other living expenses, or even the costs of plane tickets home.
But, my parents are willing to at least explore the options of loans a little bit more. Granted, they probably won't even qualify for ANY loans...but it's still nice that they seem to support me (which they've never seem to have done before). The best case scenario is that I get the loans I need (which would need to be all in my name), and be paying off almost a million dollars over the next thirty years.
My parents really don't think it can be done. I personally believe that when people genuinely want something, the universe conspires to help them get what they want. I'm probably completely naive. Wish me luck.
Transfer Post From My Old Blog: My Personal List of "Things Not To Do," Inspired by EMS
As a disclaimer, I am not your health care provider. I don't even know you. If you're having a medical emergency, initiate emergency services as is appropriate where you live (typically, call 9-1-1). If it's not an emergency, talk to your physician. The below anecdotes are fictional stories that have merely been based on real life experiences; there is no identifying information - it has either been changed, or excluded from the story. The below opinions are mine; they in no way represent protocol in my area, the views of my certifying agency, or anyone/thing else. Don't be stupid.
Dear World,
Please:
Dear World,
Please:
- Don't let your child decide that, if the seat belt is uncomfortable, they can take it off... especially while you're driving while talking on your cell phone. You just might drift into oncomming traffic, and your kid might end up hitting the windshield.
- Don't talk/text on your cell phone when you're supposed to be driving. What you're talking about might become more important then you controlling that 2,000 lb car that you're driving.
- Don't take a hit of _____ (drug of choice) before going out to Burger King to get a cheese burger at 8:00 am. You will get in to an accident, and you will not get your cheeseburger (plus, BK doesn't serve lunch until 10:00am).
- Like wise, don't tell me you didn't take a hit of your drug of choice. Your pupils, a quick exam, and the syringe on the floor of your car are dead give-a-ways.
- If you have to call 9-1-1 for the cut you just got as you drunkenly/highly fell on broken beer bottles at 7 am, make sure your dealer and friends know that if they run when then officer gets on scene, the officer might get suspicious.
- Don't forget to take your medicine, oh CHF patient. It will kill you.
- If you were just in an accident, and are now having chest pain, don't call your bitchy/manipulative wife to see if she thinks that you should go to the hospital. Go. It's your life we're talking about, and your clock is ticking.
- Don't drive without your seatbelt on. Furthermore, when you get into a bad accident and I ask you why your seatbelt isn't on, don't tell me that its your choice. You are driving on a town/county/state/federally-owned road; the law is the law. It's not your right to take your seatbelt off when that obligates me to clean up the mess that will ensue.
- I'm an 18 year old volunteer. I want to help you. Don't yell at me.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Confessions of A Coffee Addict
It is currently somewhere near 6 o'clock... this is the time I wake up to go to school usually. Unfortunately, I have about three hours of sleep under my belt right now. Why? Here it goes...
When I get stressed, I drink a lot of coffee. A lot of coffee. Lots. Yesterday, I had nine cups of wonderful hazelnut coffee. I feel asleep somewhere near 2:30 this morning. Oops. So right now, I have something similar to a coffee hangover. I am tired, cranky, and I truly believe that the coffee is seeping through my pores.
Am I even awake right now?
When I get stressed, I drink a lot of coffee. A lot of coffee. Lots. Yesterday, I had nine cups of wonderful hazelnut coffee. I feel asleep somewhere near 2:30 this morning. Oops. So right now, I have something similar to a coffee hangover. I am tired, cranky, and I truly believe that the coffee is seeping through my pores.
Am I even awake right now?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
MD for ME?
Whaddup, blog?
Ok, so I'm still holding on to hope that the BA/MD dream school that I got in to is still a viable option. I talked to the financial aid people today and they said that they're mailing out the financial aid packages soon. Hopefully, between federal and private money, I can loan out ALL of the money that I need so I can go to this program. It would really mean so much to me if I could. I know I sounded into that BS/DO program, but that was me settling. I was happy with it, as a second choice. Right now, though, I have a chance at my first choice. If you're into that sort of thing, say a prayer, please. Or at least channel some positive energy in my direction. Send some good vibes? You can meditate on it. Or light a candle for me? You can make a point of stating your trust in the natural order of the universe, and hope that it's in my favor. You can cast a spell or even offer a small non-animal sacrifice... I'm easy to get along with.
Today, school was pointless. We had mass (school mass is stupid) and shortened classes (which we did nothing in), and then we had a preview of the school play (which sucked). School mass is so irreverent, boring, and I just don't like it. Shortened classes are a waste of my time. The people in the school musical suck - none of them have the voice to be singing on stage. But at least they try? Bullshit. They can try all they want, I just shouldn't have to listen to it. What a mess.
I'm also very glad to say that 6yearmed is back! I was worried! She actually just graduated from the above mentioned dream school. And I met her, in person, at my interview but was too shy to say anything. I should have gotten her autograph.
Well, I think I'm done. Peace out.
Ok, so I'm still holding on to hope that the BA/MD dream school that I got in to is still a viable option. I talked to the financial aid people today and they said that they're mailing out the financial aid packages soon. Hopefully, between federal and private money, I can loan out ALL of the money that I need so I can go to this program. It would really mean so much to me if I could. I know I sounded into that BS/DO program, but that was me settling. I was happy with it, as a second choice. Right now, though, I have a chance at my first choice. If you're into that sort of thing, say a prayer, please. Or at least channel some positive energy in my direction. Send some good vibes? You can meditate on it. Or light a candle for me? You can make a point of stating your trust in the natural order of the universe, and hope that it's in my favor. You can cast a spell or even offer a small non-animal sacrifice... I'm easy to get along with.
Today, school was pointless. We had mass (school mass is stupid) and shortened classes (which we did nothing in), and then we had a preview of the school play (which sucked). School mass is so irreverent, boring, and I just don't like it. Shortened classes are a waste of my time. The people in the school musical suck - none of them have the voice to be singing on stage. But at least they try? Bullshit. They can try all they want, I just shouldn't have to listen to it. What a mess.
I'm also very glad to say that 6yearmed is back! I was worried! She actually just graduated from the above mentioned dream school. And I met her, in person, at my interview but was too shy to say anything. I should have gotten her autograph.
Well, I think I'm done. Peace out.
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