Update

Ok, so this is a week of "lasts."
Last of each class.
Last AP tests.
Last time seeing most of the people in my class ever.
The list goes on...

I'm really screwed, to be honest. For those of you with a pulse, you know how bad the economy is... this is a big problem for me. My family can't afford to send me to the college that I want to go to, and the economy is so bad that we can't even get the loans to pay for it. What do I do? I'm at the point where I'd consider doing community college and becoming a Paramedic... but I don't want to be a paramedic when I grow up. I want to be a doctor. Particularly, in 6 years. I just don't understand why this happens. I'm not a bad kid. Why is college (especially this one, for out of state students) so expensive? I wish I wanted to be something that didn't cost so much. I don't get why my dreams are so much closer to "impossible to fulfill" than other people's, in terms of factors beyond my control. I know what you're thinking: "Get a job, kid." I've had a summer job every year... we're talking over fifty-three thousand a year, for six years for this college - no kid my age can afford that. Not one. It's impossible. I don't even get why I tried to get in to this school. I'm so naive. I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it, but I got my hopes up and told myself that I'd find a way for it to happen. I'm a idiot.

Now, you'd think my parents would have told me that, right? They didn't. I'm not even sure if my mom knows what the name of the school is. Neither of them want anything to do with this college thing. It pisses me off.

When it becomes official that I can't afford it (like when the paperwork is actually in my hands), then I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do. It's so late, now, that I've pretty much lost my chances at ANY college other than community college. The whole system is stupid. Maybe I can become a hermit. Or join the peace corps. Or both. I think I've had two readers ever on this blog, so if either of you are out there, please leave a comment with a suggestion of what I should do with my life.